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Tarek El Moussa Reflects on Struggling With Alcoholism at Age 19 on December 7, 2023 at 2:21 am Us Weekly

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Tarek El Moussa. Frazer Harrison/WireImage

Tarek El Moussa is opening up about his struggles with alcoholism as a young adult.

“I will never forget this day … or this kid. I was 20 years old fishing for King salmon in Alaska,” the HGTV personality, 42, wrote via Instagram on Monday, December 4, alongside a photo of his younger self. “Unfortunately, all I remember was the terrible hangover I had. I had drank over 30 shots of vodka and whatever else I could get my hands on. I can still feel the throbbing in my head and the pulsing vein on my temple.”

El Moussa confessed that in his younger years, he was “used to” feeling those aches and pains due to his consistent heavy drinking.

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“Most people don’t know this about me, but at 19 my life went downhill in what felt like overnight. I gained 50 pounds, lost my confidence, lost my hope, and became a raging alcoholic,” he continued. “All my drive was gone. It’s crazy to think today I sometimes wake up at 3 am to start work, when at 20, I would wake up at 3 pm to start my day.”

Related: Stars Who Revealed They Got Sober

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Several of Hollywood’s biggest stars have been candid about their sobriety journeys over the years. Kelly Osbourne, who previously talked about being sober for six years, revealed in April 2021 that she had suffered a relapse and was working on next steps. “Not proud of it. But I am back on track,” she wrote via […]

While El Moussa didn’t share what exactly prompted him to turn his life around, he noted that everyone deserves a “second chance.” He told his followers that if they were in a similar situation that he once faced, his upcoming book, Flip Your Life, could be helpful.

“If you are looking for the help I desperately needed at that time, check out my new book Flip Your Life,” he penned. “I wrote it thinking about 20-year-old Tarek and what could have helped him.”

El Moussa noted that his book is available to preorder and will be released in February 2024.

The reality star revealed earlier this year that he had been working on writing his story for nearly a decade and had accomplished his goal.

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Related: Tarek El Moussa and Heather Rae El Moussa: A Timeline of Their Relationship

Heather Rae El Moussa (née Young) and Tarek El Moussa‘s whirlwind love story is too cute for words. The twosome first crossed paths on the 4th of July in 2019, and Tarek went on to confirm their relationship that August via Instagram. “I’ll be honest and say I never thought I would meet someone special […]

“I’ve been working on this book for 7 years now, and I can’t wait for you to read my personal journey on how I found success, and how I got to where I am today,” he shared via Instagram in September alongside a video slideshow of different moments in his life. “Within that journey, you will learn about many bumps in [the] road including cancers, divorce, business struggles, addiction, and more. This book has been a long time coming, and I’m so proud to share my personal story with you!”

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El Moussa has faced a series of life changes and health battles over the years. In 2013, he was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. Shortly after his initial diagnosis, he learned he also had testicular cancer. After entering remission in 2019, El Moussa sustained a back injury that led to him to develop an addiction to steroids.

Related: Christina and Tarek’s Ups and Downs: Police Calls, Set Fights and More

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Talk about a roller-coaster! Christina Hall (née Haack) and Tarek El Moussa‘s ups and downs started well before they called it quits in 2016. The reality stars tied the knot in May 2009, four years before their HGTV series catapulted them into the spotlight. Things took a turn when El Moussa was diagnosed with two […]

“After the cancers, I had that terrible accident on my back and I lost like 60 pounds, and I was on all those opiates. I was not doing well,” El Moussa recalled to Fox News Digital in February. “This is what people don’t understand — you know, from 2013 to 2016, it was hell.”

In addition to battling addiction, El Moussa and ex-wife Christina Hall decided to divorce after seven years of marriage. The exes, who split in 2016, share two children: daughter Taylor, 12, and son Brayden, 7. Following their split, Tarek moved on with wife Heather Rae El Moussa whom he wed in October 2021. The couple welcomed their first son, Tristan, in January.

If you or someone you know is struggling with substance abuse, contact the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).

Tarek El Moussa is opening up about his struggles with alcoholism as a young adult. “I will never forget this day … or this kid. I was 20 years old fishing for King salmon in Alaska,” the HGTV personality, 42, wrote via Instagram on Monday, December 4, alongside a photo of his younger self. “Unfortunately, 

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What Filmmakers Should Actually Steal From Euphoria

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Most of the talk about Euphoria asks one question: was it realistic? That’s the wrong question if you make films. The better one is simpler. How did Sam Levinson get an audience to feel addiction from the inside? And what did it cost him to end the show the way he did?

Strip away the noise and Euphoria is a clinic in three choices: point of view, style, and the ending. Here’s what’s worth taking — and what isn’t.

1. Put the Camera Inside the Character

Most shows about drugs watch from across the room. Euphoria doesn’t. When Rue is high, the camera is high too. Walls breathe. Floors tilt. Time skips. You’re not watching her — you’re stuck inside her head.

That’s the lesson: point of view is a decision you make with the camera and the cut, not a mood you add later in color. Levinson builds it into the lens, the blocking, and the edit.

So before you shoot a scene through a character’s eyes, ask one thing on set: whose eyes is this lens standing in for? Then make every cut respect that.

2. Your Style Has to Mean Something

The glitter. The slow push-ins. The impossible club lighting. Euphoria‘s look got copied everywhere. That’s the trap.

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The style worked because it carried weight. The beauty wasn’t decoration — it was the lie addiction tells you, the reason the next high looks worth it. The camera made self-destruction gorgeous on purpose.

The copies missed that. A thousand music videos took the look and left the meaning behind, and you can feel how hollow they are. So here’s the test: if your signature style could be swapped onto any other project and still “work,” it’s not a style. It’s a filter. Every choice should have a reason behind it.

3. The Ending Tells the Audience What It All Meant

When Euphoria ended for good in Season 3, Levinson killed Rue — an accidental, fentanyl-laced overdose. He called it “the honest ending,” saying he wanted to tell a true story about addiction and grief in a time when one mistake can be the last one. Reportedly, that wasn’t the original plan; the death of Angus Cloud, who played Fezco, changed the script.

Forget whether you agree with the choice. Study how it works. An ending is the last instruction you give your audience about how to read everything before it.

By ending on consequence instead of recovery, Levinson reframed seven years of beautiful chaos as a story about cost — not a celebration of it.

It’s also the show’s most debatable move, and that’s worth noticing too. A show that spent years making pain look beautiful had to fight to make that pain land as loss. Did it earn the ending, or enjoy the wreckage too long to stick it? Smart filmmakers will disagree — and that argument is exactly what a good ending is supposed to start.

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What Not to Take

The neon grief is the most copied part. It’s also the least useful. Take the surface — the colors, the slow-mo, the trauma-as-texture — and you get the costume without the body.

The real craft is underneath. Commit your camera to a real point of view. Make every stylistic choice earn its place. Treat your ending as the point of the whole thing. Do that, and your work won’t look like Euphoria. It’ll do what Euphoria did.


This piece touches on addiction and substance use. If you or someone you know is struggling, support is available through the SAMHSA National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357.

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How a 22-Person Film Crew Each Walked Away With $300,000

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In the spring of 2020, with Hollywood shut down and most film workers suddenly out of a job, Zendaya made a movie in a single house with a crew of 22. The film was Malcolm & Marie. What happened to that crew afterward is the part worth paying attention to — and it’s quietly become a blueprint indie filmmakers are borrowing five years later.

Instead of paying everyone the standard flat day rate and sending them home, Zendaya structured the production so the crew owned a piece of it. They received “points” — a share of the film’s revenue.

When Malcolm & Marie sold to Netflix for roughly $30 million, those points turned into real money. Because one point typically equals 1%, a single point on that sale was worth around $300,000.

For a crew used to being paid by the day, that’s a life-changing number.

The Math That Makes It Click

The reason points are so powerful is that their value scales with the film, not with your hours on set:

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  • At $30 million in revenue, 1% equals $300,000
  • At $50 million, 1% equals $500,000
  • At $100 million, 1% equals $1 million

Now hold that against traditional indie crew pay, which runs roughly $300 to $800 per day. A 20-day shoot totals somewhere between $6,000 and $16,000 — full stop, no upside, no matter how well the film does. The points model flips the entire logic: you stop getting paid for time and start getting paid for success.

This Isn’t New — It’s Just Newly Accessible

Backend deals are how the biggest names in Hollywood get rich. Robert Downey Jr. reportedly earned tens of millions from his Avengers: Endgame backend; Keanu Reeves made a fortune off The Matrix through profit participation. The leverage to demand that kind of deal has always belonged to A-list stars.

What changed with Malcolm & Marie is who got a seat at the table. Zendaya didn’t reserve the points for herself and a couple of producers — she extended them to the crew, the people she described as laying the tracks and doing the heavy lifting. That’s the shift indie filmmakers are now studying: ownership as something you share down the call sheet, not hoard at the top.

Why Indie Filmmakers Should Care

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Independent films usually run on budgets between $50,000 and $500,000, where labor can eat up 40% to 60% of total costs. That creates a permanent squeeze: how do you attract genuinely skilled people without torching the budget before you’ve shot a frame?

Equity is the pressure valve. Offering ownership instead of higher upfront pay lets you reduce immediate production costs, attract more experienced collaborators, and — maybe most importantly — build a team that actually wants the film to win.

How to Apply It to Your Own Project

You don’t need a $30 million Netflix sale for this to work. Say your budget is $250,000 and your revenue goal is $500,000, making 1% worth $5,000. Instead of stretching cash thin across every line item, you might offer 1% to a cinematographer, 1% to an editor, and 1–2% to a producer. You preserve cash during production and hand your key people a real reason to overdeliver.

Ownership Changes How People Show Up

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A stake rewires behavior. People who own a piece of the outcome stay sharper on set, pitch in on marketing and promotion without being asked, and stay invested long after wrap. That last part matters more than it sounds — a crew that’s financially tied to the film becomes part of its distribution engine, not just its production.

Read the Fine Print

Equity is not a salary, and it’s honest to say so. Malcolm & Marie worked because it sold to Netflix at a high price — that’s the upside scenario, not a guarantee. If a project underperforms, points can be worth little or nothing. So if you use this model, do it cleanly: define revenue participation explicitly in contracts, spell out recoupment structures so everyone knows who gets paid and in what order, and offer partial upfront payment where you can to balance the risk. The whole thing runs on trust, and trust runs on transparency.

The Bigger Picture

What Zendaya pulled off with a 22-person crew in one house pointed to something larger about how creative work gets valued. In an industry where funding is the hardest wall to climb, ownership has become its own currency. You may not control access to millions in financing — but you fully control how value gets shared on your set. And that, more often than not, is the difference between a film that stalls in development and one that actually gets made.

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Independent Film’s New Reality: 10 Brutal Truths You Have to Face in 2026

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If you are still approaching independent film like it’s 2015, you are going to get crushed. The landscape that once rewarded a scrappy feature and a couple of festival laurels has become a crowded, algorithm‑driven marketplace where attention is the rarest currency. Recent industry analysis on “inflection points” for 2026 all say the same thing: the business model for independent film has changed, whether you like it or not.

1. You’re Competing With Everything

Your film is no longer just competing with other indie features. It is fighting for attention against TikTok clips, prestige series, and endless back catalog on every streaming platform. That means “pretty good” is invisible. You either have a sharp, specific audience and a clean logline, or you disappear into the scroll.

2. Festivals Are Not a Distribution Plan

A festival premiere and a few Q&As can help with credibility, but they are not a business strategy. Without a parallel plan—email list, community building, partnerships, and a clear path to paid viewers—you come home with a laurel and no deal. Even festival‑aligned organizations now frame their “don’t miss indies” coverage as part of a broader visibility and audience strategy, not a finish line.

3. The Middle Is Collapsing

Industry voices are blunt about it: micro‑budget genre films and clearly branded auteur work still find lanes, but the soft, mid‑budget drama with no hook is almost impossible to monetize. If your film cannot be pitched in one or two sentences to a specific audience, it will struggle regardless of how “good” it is.

4. You Are a Small Business, Not a Starving Artist

The indie filmmakers who will survive 2026 are treating their careers like businesses. Guides focused on creating a “film business turnaround” talk about lifetime value, repeat customers, multiple revenue streams, and audience retention—not just finishing one feature. Your filmography is a product line, not a lottery ticket.

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5. SAG Is a Competitive Advantage

SAG actors and union rules are not your enemy; they are a way to level up. SAGindie and SAG‑AFTRA low‑budget agreements exist to help genuine independents hire professional talent and present themselves as serious, compliant productions. Understanding those tools gives you access to stronger cast, better reputations, and more credible pitches.

6. Streaming Is Not a Golden Ticket

Streaming is no longer the dream “one deal solves everything” outcome. The deals are leaner, the competition is brutal, and many filmmakers now make more by going direct‑to‑fan through TVOD, memberships, or niche platforms than by chasing a low‑MG all‑rights license. You need to know why you want a streamer—brand value, audience reach, or pure revenue—and plan accordingly.

7. Format Matters Less Than Relationship

Audiences care more about access than whether your project is a feature, series, or hybrid. If you give them a reason to show up repeatedly, they will follow you across formats. If you do not, a 90‑minute feature is just one more piece of content in an endless feed.elliotgrove.

8. Marketing Starts at Concept

Marketing is not something you “figure out later.” The most effective 2026 indies build their hook at the idea stage—title, poster, and logline are treated as core creative decisions, not afterthoughts. If you cannot imagine the trailer, one‑sheet, and social teaser while you are still outlining, that is a red flag.

9. Community Is Your Real Safety Net

Filmmakers who plug into networks, reading lists, and producer education hubs are adapting the fastest. They are not reinventing the wheel alone; they are leveraging shared knowledge, updated contracts, and peer feedback to make smarter decisions project by project.

10. Accepting Reality Is Your Edge

Here is the real brutal truth: if you can accept all of this, you gain an edge. Most of the field is still clinging to old myths about discovery, “overnight” success, and festival miracles. If you are willing to treat your indie career as a living, evolving business—grounded in current data and audience behavior—2026 might be the moment where “truly independent” stops meaning powerless and starts meaning in control.

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